Former Tottenham Hotspur manager David Pleat believes that Gareth Bale is “too premature (sic)” to sign for Real Madrid.
Pleat, confuddled, had meant to express in strictly non-biased terms that the Welsh wizard is far too young to be
leaving Spurs up the lurch moving his family to Spain.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Pleat stated in no uncertain terms that “Christian Bale (sic)” should stay at “Light Hart Wane (sic)” for “one more season, minimal (sic)” lest he discover that “life aboard (sic) is not all it’s crackered (sic) up to be”.
He said: “I expect Spurs to be claiming their steak (sic) for a place in the four tops (sic) again this season.
“With a fit and flaming (sic) Bale firing on all cillit bang (sic), they could even mount a tidal (sic) challenge.
“I’ve spoken with Andre Boa-Constricto (sic) and he agrees with me that the best place for Christian (sic) at this stage of his career is Hottenham Snotspur Flootball Pub (sic as a parrot).
“Obviously £85m is a lot of money to turn your hose (sic) up at, so ultimately Daniel Levis (sic) might have the vinyl (sic) say.
“If Christian (sic) does leave for pastors nude (sic) then I’d like to see the club go for his sakename (sic) Benturkey (sic) from Vanilla (sic) or perhaps ask Meal Radrid (sic) for the boy Donaldo (sic) in part sexchange (sic).”
At that point, the nurse arrived and asked Football Burp to leave.
Find out 10 things that would cost the same as the £85m that Real Madrid are prepared to spend on Gareth Bale!