Liverpool Fans Weren’t Booing, Claim Liverpool Fans

Liverpool fans
"Viiiiieeeeewwww!" (Img: Jon Candy)

Liverpool fans were not actually booing on Saturday, according to Liverpool fans.

Although Kenny Dalglish’s Reds side appeared to be met with howls of derision from the Anfield faithful after dipping 2-1 against lowly Wigan Athletic, it turns out that there are actually a million and one other explanations for the sound that was widely reported as being “boooooooo!”.

Kevin Morrow, a Liverpool fan from Surrey, said: “We’re like a family here, so we’d never boo our own players – and we certainly wouldn’t dream of doing so to Kenny Dalglish, who in many ways is history’s greatest hero.

“If you lazy journos had bothered to look into it properly, you’d know that the only person booing was a troublemaking Everton fan who’d snuck in masquerading as a Red because he’s so bitter.

“Once he had been outed, all around were pointing at him and yelling ‘Bluuuueeee!’ as a warning for others to give him short shrift.

“And that’s exactly what happened.”

Bjørn Bjørnebye, a Liverpool fan from Bergen, said: “We were all asked to be extras in an advert for Bargain Booze.

“That’s what we were shouting – ‘booooooooooooze!’. Do you see?”

He added: “What happened was that we were shouting ‘looooooooose!’ preemptively to Stoke City, hoping that defeat for Tony Pulis’s Potters at the hands of Roberto Mancini’s big-spending City side would give them the upper hand over United in the title race, thus giving us all a bit of a lift after watching our own side slip below their normal levels of footballing godliness.

“And so you see, we were shouting ‘Huuuuuuugggggghes!’ in tribute to the late Emlyn.”

Football Burp understands that Liverpool Football Club, all of it, will be knighted by Her Majesty the Queen for services to not booing.

They shall henceforth be known as Sir Liverpool.