Students at Computers “Probably Being Racist to a Footballer on Twitter”, Warn Experts

Some students at a computer, possibly being racist to footballers on Twitter.
This could be happening in a library near you (Img: University of Salford Press Office)

The nation is on tenterhooks as they wait to find out who will be the next idiot student to be racist to a footballer on Twitter.

Law student Joshua Cryer, 21, was yesterday handed a two-year community order for repeatedly being a total dick about the fact that Stan Collymore looks a bit different to him, while Pontypridd numpty Liam Stacey, also 21, has been charged by police in connection with astoundingly f**kwitted comments made about stricken Bolton Wanderers player Fabrice Muamba.

These latest incidents come hot off the heels of what has been a vintage year for brainless individuals abusing black footballers on social networking sites – and a leading spokesperson for the brained has urged anyone who sees a 21 year-old at a computer to sidle up to them and say, “Whatcha doin’?”

Alex Pratt, a microbiology student at the University of Exeter, said: “Haha, get this right – I just called Ian Wright a c**n on Twitter.

“Hahahaha, hahahahaha! Oi Dave, you know Ian Wright? Yeah, well I just called him a c**n on Twitter. Hahahaha, I know, I’m well funny innit?

“Oi, Steve, check this out yeah – you know the former Arsenal strik…hold on, the phone’s going.”

He added: “Ah. Nuts.”