Leicester City rediscover drugs

Foxes celebrate return to doping with 2-1 win over Spurs.

Leicester City striker Jamie Vardy
MASHED ON ‘ROIDS: Vardy (Image: @cfcunofficial/Chelsea Debs)

Leicester City celebrated their return to performance enhancing drugs with a 2-1 win over Tottenham Hotspur.

In 2015-16, the Foxes won a shock title after striker Jamie Vardy invented a motivational cocktail comprising of Red Bull, steroids and high grade Colombian cocaine.

Their form took a dive in 2016-17 when they had to kick their habit due to heart palpitations.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Vardy remained philosophical.

He said: “I have absolutely no recollection of the match but I gather I scored a worldie so fair play to me.

“It’s great to be back juicing again and I’m delighted for the fans because some of them must be on drugs too.

“I’ve asked the gaffer if we can start banging out some happy hardcore over the tannoy at home games. I reckon I’d smash a hat-trick in every time.

“Now I’m going to go home, bosh some more drugs and watch the missus on I’m a Celebrity. Cheers.”