Planet Earth was this morning still crawling with ‘Joey Barton blasts Neymar’ headlines after the part-time Queens Park Rangers midfielder launched yet another astonishing broadside.

The eminent tweeter, psychotic, dismissed the Barcelona and Brazil forward as “a YouTube phenomenon” before hitting out at comedian/revolutionary Russell Brand for sitting in what appeared to be the posh seats at West Ham.

When it was revealed that Brand was in fact in a TV box having appeared on BT Sport in the morning, Barton remained unmoved, pointing out that Brand is a “blert” and a “bad weapon”.

And when Barton blasts Neymar and Russell Brand, you can rest assured he’s only just getting going.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Barton took aim at the monster under his bed who manipulates his dreams into giving him murderous thoughts.

He said: “Honestly, la, it’s getting beyond a joke now.

“He keeps saying things like, ‘Why don’t you be the Morrissey Murderer? You could dismember people and write his lyrics on the wall in their blood and that’.

“He’s always telling me I could be to The Smiths what Charles Manson was to The Beatles, that I could go down in history.

“I tell him I’m already down in history, la, so he can shut up and stop jeopardising my burgeoning pundit career.

“While I’m at it, you’re a bad meff and all. Don’t get me started on you, lad.”