Randy Lerner has been accused of retaining such little interest in day-to-day operations at Aston Villa that he didn’t even realise Tim Sherwood was his manager until about three days ago.

The American owner, spent, was horrified to learn that the wild-eyed, gillet-clad loon patrolling the touchline was in fact in charge of the first XI, and had been since Lerner appointed him in February after a particularly enthusiastic raid of the whiskey decanter in his office.

He immediately set about removing Sherwood from the Villa Park hot seat and has vowed to attempt making his first sober managerial appointment since Martin O’Neill.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Randy Lerner accepted culpability for the sorry state of affairs at his club.

He said: “Honestly, fighting relegation year in, year out, I’d just lost track of it all.

“I thought maybe Alex McLeish or someone was still in charge, not that it’s really mattered to me ever since Martin left me disillusioned and heartbroken after spending all of my money on Nigel Reo-Coker.

“When I saw this mad man gesticulating wildly by the dugout, my first reaction was to laugh. Then when he kept doing it, I called security.

“They were happy to remove him from the premises on my behalf, but they did alert me to the potential complications of this course of action given he was under my employ.

“‘Under my what now?’ I said, not wanting to believe. I can’t quite believe it’s come to this, but there you go.

“Maybe we need a French guy now. French guys know soccer, right?”