“I can still procreate at the top level,” roars resurgent Rooney

Now just fourteen children away from becoming Rooney family's all-time top scorer.

Wayne Rooney is having a new baby
WHIPPERSNAPPERS: Wayne (Image: Gordon Flood)

Wayne Rooney insists he can still procreate at an elite level after his wife Colleen confirmed they will soon be having their fourth child.

Following on from Klay, Kit and Kai Rooney, the celebrity couple were keen to throw a fourth K into the mix to stave off accusations of white supremacist leanings.

With another new arrival on the way, Rooney is just fourteen children away from becoming his family’s all-time record top scorer.

He told Football Burp: “People have been saying my days are done as a top-level procreator, but I’m determined to prove I’ve still got it.

“With the forthcoming birth of Kev, or Kaz, or Klan – whatever we decide to call him – I think I’ve shown I’ve still got what it takes.

“And I can still play a bit of footy too, I reckon. See the way I gently but firmly slipped in that through ball for Idrissa Gueye the other night?

“I’m a considerate passer, me.”

The Rooneys’ unborn child was unavailable for comment at the time of writing.