Glenn Hoddle last night discovered the “top top corner”, a top corner in the frame of the goal that’s up to twice as top as what was previously believed to be the top corner, while appearing as a pundit on ITV.
The former Tottenham Hotspur midfielder was of course sacked as England manager in 1999 for stating his belief that disabled people are being punished for sins they committed in a previous life.
He then spent a number of years alienating players as a club manager before moving into the ITV studio in order to field Adrian Chiles’s serpentine, Crooks-ian lines of not-quite-questioning.
In a shock twist, Hoddle is now the bookies’ early frontrunner for next year’s Nobel Prize in Physics after pinpointing the top top corner – hereby referred to in layman’s terms as ‘a Glenn’ – while punditing all over Wayne Rooney’s match-winning free kick against Estonia.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Hoddle explained how he was alerted to the existence of a top top corner having noticed that Rooney neglected to place his shot in it.
He said: “At first glance it looked as if Wayne hadn’t put his free kick into the top corner.
“On second viewing, however, it occurred to me that what he’d actually done was to not put it in the top top corner.
“It’s a bit like the top corner but it’s 100% topper. Wayne’s a top top player so it doesn’t surprise me to see him mixed up in all of this.
“The Nobel Prize in Physics is one of our top top honours so it’s a top top feeling to even be in the running.”
Hoddle will now take to the talk show circuit equipped with a portable goal frame, a pointing rod and a pair of Ian Wright spectacles.