An international break is once again sucking and is expected to continue sucking for at least another week, Football Burp can exclusively reveal.
PLUS! THERE’S MORE: The best jokes as Wales go above England in Fifa rankings
The break, international, was originally designed to clear space in the footballing calendar for qualifying matches pertaining to major tournaments such as the World Cup or European Championships.
However it has since been reimagined as a blunt instrument of medieval torture deployed to flatten the average football fan’s enthusiasm like some hapless insect underfoot.
With club games banned from taking places during international breaks, supporters generally resort to boozing their way through the kind of ITV-sullied fixture that tends to involve Andros Townsend coming on as a late substitute to earn the man of the match award against a nation you’d only ever heard of because we played against them in a similarly tedious match a few years ago.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Rhodri, a Wales fan from Llandudno, heaped scorn on the above paragraph.
He roared: “We’re not all England fans, you know – some of us are excited to be chartering unknown territory.
“We’re top of our group, above England in the Fifa rankings and it didn’t even rain this morning.
“Everything’s coming up decidedly Milhouse, boyo.”