A group of Everton fans are claiming that Wayne Rooney’s Manchester United career was a carefully constructed hoax, Football Burp has learned.
The conspiracy theorist Toffees have dismissed Rooney’s thirteen years at Old Trafford as “fake news”, pointing to a continuity error involving his hairline.
Rooney scored an opening day winner against Stoke, sprinting over to celebrate with the fans of the club he supported as a boy.
But not everyone is convinced that he ever really went away.
One anonymous supporter said: “It’s taken thirteen years, but now we’re through the looking glass.
“This goes all the way to the top – the clever editing, the CGI footage and the deployment of Wayne’s previously unheard-of twin brother Dwayne.
“Study footage from over the years and you can clearly see that his hairlines have not been consistent.
“There has been no continuity checking at all. His hair actually grows back at one point.
“The whole thing just doesn’t add up. I mean, a fat Scouse lad becoming United’s all-time top scorer? Pull the other one, mate.
“And if he really was their all-time top scorer, why would they let him go on a free? It just doesn’t make sense.
“Maybe now Manchester United can use their CGI budget to create a 3D emoji for Pogba or something.”