Dippy the Diplodocus has signed for Shanghai Shenhua of the Chinese Super League in a deal that could rise to as much as £800m depending on appearances.
The massive fibreglass dinosaur skeleton admitted it was a wrench to leave the Natural History Museum after 120 years, adding that it had been “an honour” to serve at the London institution.
But he went on to say that he couldn’t possibly turn up the chance to earn £550,000 an hour at this stage of his career.
Dippy’s move to China comes in the wake of similarly obscene deals for Chelsea duo Oscar and Jon Obi Mikel, who have joined Shanghai SIPG and Tianjin Teda respectively.
And his new club Shanghai Shenhua hope to lure Watford striker Odion Ighalo with the promise of naming a cinema after him.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Dippy the Diplodocus remained philosophical.
He said: “120 years is a long enough time to spend anywhere, so I look forward to the change of scene.
“The Chinese Super League is up-and-coming, and I’m confident that pretty soon it will be the place to be for all the world’s top stars.
“Of course I’m anxious about frightening my new team-mates with my monstrous appearance, but the club are making efforts to soften the impact by also signing Carlos Tevez.
“Cheap shot? **** you, I’m rich now.”