Dave Whelan steps down, breaks leg, blames the Chinese

Also points finger at Jews in bizarre, morphine-induced rant.

Dave Whelan broken leg in 1960
Back in 1960, broken leg patients were tended to by the Queen herself

Dave Whelan has broken his leg while stepping down as chairman of Wigan Athletic, a source has indicated.


The source, Whelan himself, went on to blame the incident on “Jews and Chingalings” in a bizarre, morphine-induced rant while speaking exclusively to Football Burp.

You may not have heard about it but Whelan suffered a similar injury while playing for Blackburn Rovers against Wolverhampton Wanderers in the 1960 FA Cup final, an injury that ended his playing career at the age of 23 – at which he immediately morphed into a deranged septuagenarian.

He mumbled while being wheeled out of the DW Stadium: “I’ve been hit! Man down!

“It’s those Jews, you see – they love their money, nothing at all wrong with that, but it does mean they like to pave the streets with gold thereby making it awfully slippery for the elderly.

“And let’s not forget the Chingalings – Chinamen, you may know them as. Nothing wrong with calling them that, not in my book, but for some reason it’s construed as a slip of the tongue if you do.

“Well, I slipped my tongue out and then slipped up on that, causing me to incur no less than three broken legs, two clipped wings and loss of hearing in my right head.

“That’s right – I, Dave Whelan, am a winged beast with two heads, fourteen legs and the soul of a leopard. And I will rise again!”

At this point, Whelan rose tentatively from his stretcher and toppled off the side of it, breaking his other leg in the process.

He added: “Oh. Bugger.”