West Ham United have given Slaven Bilić a long-anticipated opportunity to make a complete pig’s ear of Premier League management, it has been confirmed.

The Hammers, traditionally ‘yo-yo’, gave Sam Allardyce his marching orders even after an unprecedented spell of mid-table comfort.

And they’ve moved quickly to appoint their former defender as Allardyce’s replacement for their final season at Upton Park before they move to the Stadio del Leyton Orient in 2016.

Bilić of course is fondly remembered for his Laurent Blanc suspending antics while playing for Croatia at the 1998 World Cup, as well as for his role as songwriter and lead guitarist of Iron Maiden.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, those weird West Ham owners declared themselves excited to see just how dismally Bilić fares.

They chorused, weirdly: “I imagine he’ll be sent off for smoking on the touchline in his first game, and we’ll probably let him sign Nikola Kalinić or someone equally doomed to fail.

“By the time we sack him sometime around November we’ll probably need someone like Big Sam to get us out of trouble again.

“You know what, though, we’ll go with Paolo Di Canio.

“Fun times ahead.”