O’Neill and Keane car crash terrifies careless drivers

Inattentive motorists feel shudder down spine at thought of rear-ending cantankerous duo.

These guys were in the O'Neill and Keane car crash
CRASH: Duo (Image: Irish Defence Forces)

Inattentive motorists everywhere felt a shudder down their spine when news emerged that someone rear-ended a vehicle containing Martin O’Neill and Roy Keane.

The drivers, absent-minded, found themselves plunged suddenly into a reality where it’s possible to lose your focus in a split second and smash into a car containing two of the most intense individuals in football if not the known universe.

Republic of Ireland manager O’Neill is perhaps best known for his ‘hostage negotiation’ style of punditry, while his assistant Roy Keane has been known to reduce men to dust just by thinking about them.

Although the offending rear-ender escaped unharmed on this occasion, consequences would no doubt have been dire for anyone within grabbing range.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, one motorist described the thought of instigating a car crash involving Martin O’Neill and Roy Keane as “literally the most terrifying thing I can imagine”.

He said: “That’s literally the most terrifying thing I can imagine.

“They’d split you in twain and swallow you half, like those lovey dovey T-rexes in one of the Jurassic Park movies.

“Or so I imagine.”

No one even remotely important was available for comment.

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