Barcelona have confirmed the immediate dismissal of a work experience placement who signed Paulinho instead of Philippe Coutinho.
According to the La Liga giants, the youngster kept messing up everyone’s coffee orders and should never have been entrusted with such a high-profile transfer.
Brazilian play-maker Coutinho has been a firm target during this summer’s transfer window but Liverpool have so far refused to sell.
The signing of former Spurs flop Paulinho has left the Barcelona top brass confused and demanding answers.
A spokesperson said: “We’re conducting an internal inquest to find out who gave this kid a hundred million euros and a vague set of instructions to sign Coutinho.
“This is after all the kid who brought me five successive coffees with sugar in despite me expressly telling him on each occasion that I like it without.
“He just sort of kissed his teeth at me like I was being unfair, like I was making a big deal over something minor.
“Maybe so, but a club like Barcelona probably shouldn’t entrust serious transfer business to some hapless work experience kid who thinks, ‘That’ll do instead.’
“Anyway, he’s gone now and we’re trying to get in touch with the kid who negotiated Neymar’s release clause.”
They added: “He was hot s***.”