Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli is now so mad that it is beginning to infect those around him, according to a number of reports.
The Italian, barmy, has attracted widespread admiration for his whacky off-field antics, notable examples of which have included beating up a coach full of nuns, flying to Jupiter in a hot air balloon and personally commissioning the signing of Scott Sinclair.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, City boss Roberto Mancini said that he definitely feels a bit madder having worked with Balotelli at two different clubs.
He said: “For sure I feel much loopier in this moment, and this would help for to explain my decision to include Mario in the starting line-up instead of the in-form Carlos Tevez for our 3-2 defeat at home to bitter rivals Manchester United on Sunday.
“See? No one talks like that in real life, and this goes for to show how Mario’s incessant tomfoolery has ground me down over the years.
“I cannot help but for to feel that if he hadn’t flown that helicopter around Manchester city centre dropping parachute packages full of Twiglets to everyone he passed, I might never have experimented with three at the back or personally commissioned the signing of Jack Rodwell.
“This is why I will be presenting Mario with a golden unicorn on top of Mount Kilimanjaro at noon tomorrow. Be there or be – how is it you say? – square.”
Balotelli was unavailable for comment as he was busy playing squash against a man in a Donald Duck costume.