Football Burp understands that the FA is set to appoint Neil Warnock as England manager following the shock resignation of Fabio Capello.
The Italian’s departure has sparked nationwide debate as to who should lead England to Euro 2012 in his stead, with general agreement that it should be an Englishman looking set to culminate in the instalment of Alan Shearer in the hot seat.
However, Football Burp can exclusively reveal that England U21s boss Stuart ‘Psycho’ Pearce is being lined up for an internal promotion, apparently lending credence to rumours linking David Beckham with the exalted position.
An FA spokesperson said: “We can confirm that we have opened talks with Peter Reid, and if everything goes to plan we should have Gary Megson in place in time for the friendly against Holland at Wembley on the 29th.
“Yes, it’s a leap year, and it is in that spirit that we have decided to take a leap of faith and offer the England job to Steve Wigley’s nephew, Brian Horton’s daschund and a Jehovah’s Witness that knocked on Brian Little’s door a couple of months ago.
“I think I speak for everyone at the FA when I say that we look forward to a long and successful spell for England under the guidance of Frank Clark/Mike Walker/that .gif of Mick McCarthy where he arches his eyebrow and says, ‘One in the hole, you say?’”
And Football Burp said: nothing, you idiots. Football Burp’s dead, it’s locked in your basement.