Allardyce long ball criticism wins Grammy

Catchy refrain of "It was just thump it forward and see what they could get" scoops music industry gong for Big Sam.

Sam Allardyce, creator of the Grammy-winning Allardyce long ball criticism
BIG: Sam (Image: Ben Sutherland)

It’s the Sam Allardyce long ball criticism of Manchester United that’s had everyone a-hollerin’, and last night it was awarded a shock Grammy.

The words, stinging, pipped the likes of Sam Smith and Pharrell Williams to the Best International Newcomer accolade after qualifying as music in the ears of West Ham United supporters.

With its underlying irony and catchy refrain of “It was just thump it forward and see what they could get, and in the end it paid off”, the Sam Allardyce long ball criticism cemented itself in legend the moment it left his barbecue sauce tinged lips.

Football fans up and down the country were this morning left wondering whether they’d woken up in an old game of Football Manager when they heard Big Sam getting stuck into Louis van Gaal for resorting to route one tactics.

Yesterday’s game between the two sides at Upton Park finished 1-1 after Man Utd spent the last few minutes hoofing it in the direction of their most extravagantly coiffured player.

But Allardyce, famed and reviled in equal measures for such an approach during his managerial career, took a dim view of it all as he took time out to reassert his Barcelona-managing credentials.

He said: “I’m just saying, I think I should be given a shot at coaching them, that’s all.

“What’s that you say? My ‘Long Ball United’ jibe won a Grammy? What’s a Grammy?

“Oh aye? Well f*** my old boots. Take that, Kanye.”