Gather round as Mystic Megson gazes into his crystal balls and casts his West Ham v Crystal Palace score prediction for this weekend, including goal-scorers and his own inimitable take on each side…

Now this looks like being one titonic tossil! Can Alan Partridge claim all point three on his return to the Bowling Ground?

He’ll face an uphill garden, that’s for absolute certainly – Sam Furrydice’s Hummers are bun-eaten in seven and looking for all the world like Zooropa League contenders.

Candy Arroll might be out for the season but then Diaspora Sakho looks to be firing on all cillit bang once again, so it’s rounds and swingabouts really.

Slightly missed the tackle, there.

As for Palace, they showed enough even in defeat to Arsenal last time out that they’ve got what it takes to avoid the dreaded plop.

They’ll give Large Sam’s lot one or two problems, no question, but they’ll still lose.

Now, here comes Mystic Megson’s West Ham United v Crystal Palace score prediction for Saturday February 28th 2015 – place your balls, now!

Mystic Megson says West Ham 2-0 Crystal Palace – Goals apriest for Diaspora Sakho and good old Stewie Downwards. You can put your balls on it!