I’m Mystic Megson, I am, and when I predict the weekend’s Premier League results, people listen. Just because I’m currently battling for promotion to the Championship with Sheffield Wednesday – and doing a bloody good job of it too, thank you very much – it doesn’t mean that I don’t still know my onions when it comes to picking apart the greatest league in the world. I have managed in it, you know, and on more than one occasion. Now hang your hat on this lot, lads…

Stoke City v West Bromwich Albion, 3pm

8th in the table and a Europa League tie against Valencia to come – the Potters are going Potty! Ha! Ha! Well, they did throw away points at home to Wigan Athletic and Aston Villa recently, so maybe Tony Pulis’ men won’t be so potty about that. And “going potty” does seem to be more intrinsically linked with being angry than being delighted, and Stoke City and their fans shouldn’t be angry at the moment. Unless they’d lost their car keys, or been suddenly struck by the futility of existence. My bet’s on the car keys. Give Jermaine Pedant a game, for crying out loud!

Last week, I backed Stoke to come away from Anfield with a point, and it was only because of an unfortunately positioned speck of dust on my crystal football that I didn’t foresee the goalless draw what it was. You can’t account for that.

It hasn’t been going too grand for Roy Hodgson down at West Brom of late, three straight defeats leaving the Baggies languishing in 15th. Forget the Potters going Potty – the Baggies’ll be going Baggy! You know, like a kind of ‘Madchester’ vibe I know Roy and he’s a proper guy, a proper salt of the wound kind of lad. He did a great job getting them to what they finished in the league last season, and if he manages to steer them to safeways once again then you’ll have to take your coat off to him.

Last week, I reckoned West Brom’d get a point off Norwich at home, but they couldn’t even do that. I also reckoned that both sets of supporters would sing my name in unison with all the gusto of a “Hey Jude” finale. Did they do that, then?

Mystic Megson says: 1-0 Stoke, a wondergoal from Walters. You can hang your coat on that, lads.