The sad plight of Darlington was at least imbued with a touch of comedy in February 2009 thanks to this curious video message from arch-villain-in-chief/former chairman George Reynolds, keen to impress upon us that it was not in fact his fault…

 
Coming across like a webcam stream of a slightly more lucid Father Jack, Reynolds either intentionally or unintentionally – each prospect being as terrifying to behold as the other – presented us with the frightening, Kubrick-esque spectre of a pig in a suit, which almost seems to grib its lapels and lean into Reynolds’ ear as if to say, “These people botherin’ ya, George?”

Don’t know about you, but Football Burp half-expects Reynolds to swing round at any moment and say, “It’s okay Bentley, I can handle it like.” Anyway, here are ten more Bizarre Football Rants…

1. Rafael Benitez’s Fact Hunt…(hmmm…‘fact hunt’ has a ring to it for some reason)…

 
2. Joe Kinnear hits back at gathered throng of journalists, breaks world swearing record…

 
3. Kevin Keegan cedes ground to Alex Ferguson in ‘psychological battle’ stakes, issues WWF (as it was at the time) style fightin’ words…

 
4. Ian Holloway compares Wayne Rooney to a house, says the word “wrong” repeatedly at ever-increasing volumes…

 
5. Eric Cantona proves himself to be consummate showman with textbook delivery of ‘seagulls’ riddle…

 
6. Chelsea fan can’t stop saying “YEAH?”…

 
7. Bournemouth chairman Eddie Mitchell drunkenly confronts fans at end of game…

 
8. Graham Taylor: England Manager berates goalscorer for straying from defensive midfield position…

 
9. Then Leyton Orient boss John Sitton deploys ‘motivational’ tactics that almost reduces his players to tears, makes four minutes feel like hours…

 
10. Reporter’s phone goes off, Roy Keane homes in on them like a raptor chasing two small children round a kitchen…(perhaps not technically a rant, but still gold)…

 

What have we missed? Have your say in the comments section below…