The best jokes from Malta 0-4 England as late goals flatter visitors

Dismal performance in routine World Cup qualifier.

The National Stadium on the island where the jokes from Malta 0-4 England were born
OPEN AIR: Island stadium (Image: Chivista)

A flurry of late goals saved England’s blushes against a weak Malta after a dreadful performance from Gareth Southgate’s side on Friday night – and these were the best jokes from their eventual 0-4 win.

The score remained at 0-0 for almost an hour and the visitors appeared to resort to a bit of bad sportsmanship in the final moments of the game in an effort to improve the scoreline, playing on while a Maltese player lay injured.

Relieve the dismality of the Group F World Cup qualifier at the island’s National Stadium with this selection of the best jokes from Malta 0-4 England:

@juanmata8 good luck tonight. @Coral has you taking on England on your own pic.twitter.com/5SMOVxXJMs

— Pete Waters (@pete_waters1) September 1, 2017

There's only one explanation for that England XI. Gareth Southgate is a soft Brexit remoaner who hates the country. #MALENG

— Don Vibes 👑 (@DelDiablo007) September 1, 2017

If Joe Hart is England number one and Jordan Henderson is our Captain at the World Cup I'm packing it all in.

— Billy Herrera (@BilboRocky) September 1, 2017

England fans singing the national anthem wildly out of time with the music being played over the PA, this is what makes our country great

— Ben (@BenJoyceFoot) 1 September 2017

"My nan could beat Lithuania" says Jake, 17, while watching Malta 0-0 England

— Oldfirmfacts (@Oldfirmfacts1) September 1, 2017

England fans chanting: "We're f***ing s**t."
Then a chorus of Rooney….

— John Cross (@johncrossmirror) September 1, 2017

Wayne Rooney's best England game for a while, this.

— Paddy Power (@paddypower) September 1, 2017

I've got to say, this England game has really got me on the edge of my seat. It has everything. What a match so far.

— Boring James Milner (@BoringMilner) September 1, 2017

Watching England is like visiting your senile grandparents. You know you have to do it but it's a couple of hours you won't get back#MALENG

— Rob Wheatley (@RobWheatley273) 1 September 2017

To be fair, we'd be AT LEAST 1-0 up against Seychelles by now #MALENG pic.twitter.com/r7EpDV25rw

— Dream Team (@dreamteamfc) September 1, 2017

😂 When the English born Malta keeper is better than your own…#MALENG pic.twitter.com/ZeVIHX7DE4

— The Sportsman (@TheSportsman) September 1, 2017

Clearly enjoying the England performance……#MALENG #MaltaEng pic.twitter.com/rD56yYNEHW

— Lonely Corner Flag (@TLCFblog) 1 September 2017

So. Half time is Malta 0-0 England.

I reckon we'd beat this lot comfortably. We'd probably give Malta a good game too.

— Ossett Town AFC (@OssettTownAFC) 1 September 2017

I'm sure I've watched this match before…#MalEng pic.twitter.com/5i8w6fEVQG

— BetVictor (@BetVictor) September 1, 2017

This has got to be one of the worst halves of football I've ever seen. #MALENG #England

— Philip Henry Roberts (@iamVilla) September 1, 2017

Wayne Rooney had more shots on his way home than England have in that first half #MALENG

— LeedsUnitedWorld (@worldleedsutd) September 1, 2017

West ham are a joke, england are wank & x factor starts tomorrrow 👱🏻‍♀️🔫 #KillMeNow

— Misswhu3 (@misswhu3) 1 September 2017

Someone throw a flare onto the pitch or something jeez 😴 #MALENG

— Danielle Louise (@danidotx) September 1, 2017

69th minute pitch invasion watch for it😂 Malta V England #MalEng

— Jake Peachey (@JTPeachey) 1 September 2017

I know people said Sterling would lose value with Brexit but didn't think it'd be this severe #MALENG pic.twitter.com/7SlRfYEAJO

— Lance (@lanceyboy) September 1, 2017

Hello @metpoliceuk I'd like to report 4,000 England fans being mugged of several hundred pounds #MALENG

— Aaron Bastani (@AaronBastani) September 1, 2017

The unbridled joy of the modern day footballer scoring his first ever goal for his country 😳 #england #MALENG pic.twitter.com/W1nGStl11t

— Daz Watts (@Wattsy391) 1 September 2017





— Evil Kagawa (@evilkagawa) 1 September 2017

Will England Win the World cup? #MALENG

— LeedsUnitedWorld (@worldleedsutd) 1 September 2017

Unfortunately that pitch invader has been made to sit back In the stand and watch the last 20 minutes. #MALENG

— Dave Goode (@RealDaveGoode) 1 September 2017

We should scrap prison sentences and just subject people to 15 years watching England on a loop #MALENG

— #bcafc (@B_Wright97) 1 September 2017

The greatest player to ever wear an England shirt. pic.twitter.com/l7sLX0cDvT

— Original Ronaldo (@OriginaIRonaldo) September 1, 2017

Rashford ignoring an injured Malta farmer so that England can bag a fourth. Good lad

— Dream Team (@dreamteamfc) 1 September 2017

Only England can win a football match 4-0 and still make it the most boring thing we've ever seen. #england

— Jack Dean (@Jaack) 1 September 2017