The best jokes from England 3-0 Scotland, World Cup qualifier

Gareth Southgate's side triumph at Wembley on a Friday night.

The fans living here will be keen to look at the jokes from England 3-0 Scotland, the World Cup qualifier on Friday night
TOO FAR: Supporter celebrates win (Image: Richard Croft)

These were all the best jokes from England 3-0 Scotland as Gareth Southgate’s side triumph over their northern neighbours in a World Cup qualification game at Wembley on Friday night.

The caretaker manager secured a good result in the Group F clash as he now seeks an appointment to the role on a full time basis.

After amassing in Trafalgar Square earlier in the day, Scottish fans were left disappointed as their side failed to threaten their opponents’ goal for much of the ninety minutes.

Here are the best of the jokes from England 3-0 Scotland, World Cup 2018 qualifier:

We’ll accept the result if we win… #PartOfThePlan #EnglandvScotland pic.twitter.com/lrLDRJMcrk

— STV (@WeAreSTV) November 11, 2016

Scotland fans doing the Viking clap outside Iceland in London today😂😂 pic.twitter.com/KcjBNagYjn

— Football Away Days (@footyawayday) November 11, 2016

Ahead of tonight's game, 10,000 beer cans have been left in Trafalgar Square by Scottish football fans. Both of them have been arrested.

— Tim Bolton (@timbolton1) November 11, 2016

It appears the Scots pay more attention to the England football team than we do.

"We've taken over Trafalgar square"

No one cares, Hamish

— GeorgeWeahsCousin (@WeahsCousin) November 11, 2016

@ScottishFA ok Dad

— Scott Simpson (@simpsaaan1) November 11, 2016



Gordon Strachan rushed to hospital

He has a bad side

— Andrew (@1andrewfenton) 11 November 2016

"You watching the England game tonight?"


I'm watching the Scotland game


— Caity (@Caitlinnjade_) 11 November 2016

I hope Nicola Sturgeon respects the result tonight. #EnglandvScotland

— cat (@irnbrudreaming) November 11, 2016

Scotland team walking out the tunnel at Wembley #EnglandvScotland 😂😂😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/et58i7O1Hf

— Lady Kerry CSC (@wee_kezza) November 11, 2016

Impeccably booed national anthems. Well done to all.#EnglandvScotland

— A.J. O'Toole (@AJoToole) November 11, 2016

C'MON SCOOOOOOTTTTLLLAAAAAAAAAANNNDDDD!!! Hurt ma throat writing this tweet #EnglandvScotland

— Jordan young (@joskyn100) November 11, 2016

James Forrest gets to meet a Scotland player #EnglandvScotland pic.twitter.com/3IZs5AeJIj

— Oldfirmfacts (@Oldfirmfacts1) November 11, 2016

Come on the highlighter pens. #EnglandvScotland #ENGvSCO

— Scott Reid ⚡️ (@scottreid1980) November 11, 2016

#EnglandvScotland Winner gets an old Toblerone, loser gets a new Toblerone.

— Elizabeth Windsor (@Queen_UK) November 11, 2016

Ref has a word with the Scottish centre halves. #EnglandvScotland pic.twitter.com/B9IS6BASZK

— Dan Fox (@d4nf0x) November 11, 2016

There seems to be a lot of players playing called prick. Cos that's what husband keeps shouting 😊 #EnglandvScotland

— hells (@Hellsbeg1) November 11, 2016

It's much harder to play good football when your nation is being taken out of the EU against its will. #EnglandvScotland

— Angry Salmond (@AngrySalmond) November 11, 2016

1-0 to the Brexiteers
1-0 to the Brexiteers
1-0 to the Brexiteers
1-0 to the Brexiteers


— Johnny Galaxy (@screamershock) November 11, 2016

For a country that wants independence, the Jocks are doing their best to cling on to Sterling. #EnglandvScotland

— wayne smith (@WayneyoWayne) November 11, 2016

Not even a booking so far. William Wallace, Robert the Bruce and Edward the first must be spinning in their graves #EnglandvScotland

— Paul King (@Paul_King_Tours) November 11, 2016

Wit a bucket of pish #EnglandvScotland pic.twitter.com/7o6gQ8tVPJ

— Julia Macfarlane (@juliamacfarlane) November 11, 2016

Just bumped into the TV and Raheem Sterling fell over.#EnglandvScotland

— Colin Stratford (@colinsonso) November 11, 2016

But I do love you 😊😊😊 #EnglandvScotland #LUFC pic.twitter.com/84gHYKnDne

— Dani. (@IAMdaniellekent) November 11, 2016

Great Britain 1-0 Great Britain #EnglandvScotland

— Ryan Cullen (@RyanCullen90) November 11, 2016

If you switch over right now, you can still catch the 9pm film on Film4.


— Guffers (@gavmacn) November 11, 2016

England kicking Scotland out of Europe for the second time this year

— Gareth (@thehandofbeadle) 11 November 2016

This win will secure Gareth Southgate as England manager. So really, with this result we're just playing the long game. #EnglandvScotland

— Scottish Comedy FC (@ScotComFC) November 11, 2016

#EnglandvScotland Can't Imagine Mel Gibson…Charging down The Hill..Frightening The English…Wearing Them Pink Shirts :-) #ENGvSCO

— Stokietony (@Stokietony) November 11, 2016

Raheem Sterling and John Stones are just happy that they don't have to sell laughing balloons at Secret Garden party anymore.

— Rizzle Kicks (@RizzleKicks) November 11, 2016

If the lad McCoist was playing it would be 2-2 #EnglandvScotland

— ZenPompey (@ZenPompey) November 11, 2016

Scotland sub warming up! #EnglandvScotland pic.twitter.com/by9ll5Tc3X

— Steve Lawrence (@super_leeds70) 11 November 2016

Much better when we get other countries to play England for us…

— Kevin Bridges (@kevinbridges86) 11 November 2016

The downside of free university education. Most talented Scots go on to become doctors and scientists, not footballers. #EnglandvScotland

— Angry Salmond (@AngrySalmond) November 11, 2016

End of the day Scotland would smash England in a square go

— burnett (@burnett_robbie) 11 November 2016

Cost of Sterling & Stones.. £99m

Cost of Scotland team.. £100 minus train fare

— Scotty T MBE (@ScottGShore) November 11, 2016

Most disappointing Sterling performance since Brexit

— Billie (@Billie_T) November 11, 2016

When you're waiting on 1 number to drop & then someone else shouts out 'BINGO!!!'#EnglandvScotland pic.twitter.com/866OLKmitQ

— Newcastle Blades ⚔ (@Tyneside_Blades) November 11, 2016

Nicola Sturgeon says she doesn't accept the result of the England v Scotland match #EnglandvScotland pic.twitter.com/ZGm8eCQjTH

— Gareth T Wildebeest (@Gnat68) 11 November 2016

With #Scotland losing,@NicolaSturgeon demands democratic right to replay the match as many times as it takes to get a win #EnglandvScotland pic.twitter.com/07LfHuJS02

— John A (@r3darmy) 11 November 2016

Threedom!! #EnglandvScotland

— John Cole (@Saint_Spitfire) November 11, 2016

Since this is not the result I was wanting, I will be protesting #EnglandvScotland

— Callum Christison (@Kristofersen) 11 November 2016

If the scores remain the same, England will be in pole position to underperform and disappoint in the 2018 World Cup.

— Paddy Power (@paddypower) 11 November 2016

Awks moment when whoever did Scotland's laundry accidentally put a red sock in with the kits #EnglandvScotland

— sophieeee (@sophiee_edge) 11 November 2016

England fans singing 🎶cheer up nicola sturgeon ,oh what can it mean ,to be the , leader of a country that voted for the Queen 🎶

— RED WHITE AND BLUE (@_R_W_B_) 11 November 2016

Scotland are only getting beat cos lee Wallace told England our tactics

— montyyyy (@montyyy_x) 11 November 2016

Strexit. #EnglandvScotland

— Scott Reid ⚡️ (@scottreid1980) November 11, 2016

I can tell by your eyes
That you've probably been cryin' forever #EnglandvScotland pic.twitter.com/TFhXStATeC

— AndyG (@WolfWhoWanders) 11 November 2016

I should have known better than to search Twitter for the answer to this. #EnglandvScotland pic.twitter.com/aHdGHdedrh

— The Dark Knight (@CityJohn) November 11, 2016