These were the best jokes from England 2-1 Turkey as an offside goal from Harry Kane and a scrappy late Jamie Vardy strike saved the blushes of Roy Hodgson and his recently selected 26-man squad, who struggled to assert themselves in the international friendly at the Etihad.
A controversial line-up from the England manager, omitting several in-form players, eventually secured the win in the 83rd minute despite a couple of late scares – but not before the inevitable complaints from the public watching at home.
Here are the best jokes from England 2-1 Turkey on Sunday evening:
This is terrible, they'll never all fit into Wembley! #ENGvTUR pic.twitter.com/bHjq48HQW2
— Ben Spindler (@TinkHolloway) May 22, 2016
If we don't beat Turkey later I'm voting out the EU. Plot twist; I will do regardless. #EngvTur
— Jonny Bayliss (@j2thabay) May 22, 2016
Love the new ITV player cam
Red button..
Select player..
Mark Noble #engvtur pic.twitter.com/iBhxeRZYA0— Richard Cracknell (@MrCracknell) May 22, 2016
"WE'RE GOING TO WIN THE EU…oh." #EngvTur
— Woof Zip Criminal (@fritzromanov) May 22, 2016
FFS. In the kitchen for both goals #engvtur
— Paul Jordan (@paulj71) May 22, 2016
Hoddle: "That's offside for me"
Yes, and everyone else. And according to the laws of the game #ENGvTUR
— George Thorpe (@gthorpesport) May 22, 2016
For anyone wondering, that defeaning boom was the sound of a nation's hearts breaking as they remember they wont win the Euros. #EngvTur
— Copa90 (@Copa90) May 22, 2016
Best physio ever!? #engvtur #England pic.twitter.com/KfWtYbZU8S
— Ben Fenlon (@HailLeviathan) May 22, 2016
Play Vardy on the wing, & let your main striker take wide free kicks. This. Is. England. #engvtur
— Mitchell Dunkley (@Mitchley) May 22, 2016
England v Turkey. Winner stays in/gets into Europe. #engvtur
— Elizabeth Windsor (@Queen_UK) May 22, 2016
Another half of Glenn Hoddle's soul-draining voice could put even Mr Tumble on suicide watch. #EngVTur
— BeCo (@BeCo74) May 22, 2016
Every time Wilshere goes down you fear that's him out for six months… #engvtur
— Football Fragmento (@footyfragmento) May 22, 2016
Does it make me a terrible person if I hope that Wilshere gets injured? #engvtur
— hannah batters (@batleynufc) May 22, 2016
For those that think friendlies are worthless, look at this game. Then you will see that you are right. #engvtur
— 888sport (@888sport) May 22, 2016
So who's breaking their metatarsal today then? #engvtur #England
— PoopaTrooper (@PoopaTrooper) May 22, 2016
Some of these Turkish tackles are not very friendly #engvtur
— Simon Ford-Powell (@simonfp1) May 22, 2016
That was the first EVER goal Turkey have scored against England. #engvtur pic.twitter.com/ZEX25knuLw
— Callum (@Panayisalad) May 22, 2016
Vardy is less comfortable with crosses than Jesus. #engvtur
— Beller (@MyLovelyBoro) May 22, 2016
I've had two naps during this half. I look forward to more after the break… #engvtur
— Dougie Brimson (@dougiebrimson) May 22, 2016
@dougiebrimson Turkey 1-Turkeys 1
— J T (@JeremyTrigwell) May 22, 2016
Wow, from following Twitter, #England have gone from European Champions to Sunday League chuffers within 45 minutes. Impressive #engvtur
— eurofoot (@eurofootstadium) May 22, 2016
Best thing about this game so far has been Ian Wright's knitted tie at half-time #engvtur
— whydidhessfly (@whydidhessfly) May 22, 2016
When 2 players tap the ball between each other for ages I always wonder if they know why they're there. #engvtur
— JC (@Ahwellnevermind) May 22, 2016
Someone is enjoying the game #engvtur #England pic.twitter.com/lMQ9qFAtaH
— Hannah (@Hannah_Newson) May 22, 2016
What really happened. #engvtur #bbcfootball pic.twitter.com/Eh5gxmtVWi
— Battle Stars App (@BattleStarsFC) May 22, 2016
"Neither Glenn nor Venables managed to make it to even 30 games!" HE'S SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU. #engvtur pic.twitter.com/Hxn4ClLKd1
— Paul Schofield (@schofey27) May 22, 2016
Wilshere there, showing why only a fool would take him to the Euros above Danny Drinkwater. #engvtur
— Lee Marlow (@LM_Marlow) May 22, 2016
Watching #ENGVTUR like pic.twitter.com/BkSd0TjZbS
— Nicole Holliday (@NicoleHolliday) May 22, 2016
Every time I hear that something on a football pitch has been done 'cleverly', I think 'oh god, how did he get back in?'. #engvtur
— Chris Scott (@cscottaus) May 22, 2016
Apparently we are the fourth favourites to win the Euro's. I don't even think we're fourth favourite to win this match #EngvTur
— Kieran (@ATPKieran) May 22, 2016
I know what will help this game….. HENDO. Another unfit midfielder #engvtur
— KenBev (@KennyBeveridge) May 22, 2016
Jack Wilshere coming off? didn't even realise he was on #engvtur
— Giles (@jamiegiles29) May 22, 2016
Who's stepping up to miss this then? #engvtur
— Adam Webster (@adswebbo) May 22, 2016
Much like the Premier League season, that. Leicester do the good work, Tottenham ruin it at the end. #ENGvTUR
— Clive Gritt (@TheCliveGritt) May 22, 2016
Story of the season, that. A Leicester player diving followed by a Sp*rs player bottling it. #ENGvTUR
— Matt Littlechild (@mattlittlechild) May 22, 2016
"I know you're new here, Harry, but we don't miss penalties until the tournament starts." #engvtur
— Dave Turner (@mrdaveturner) May 22, 2016
IT'S HAPPENED AGAIN! #engvturhttps://t.co/JTzNQP4mxT
— Dream Team (@dreamteamfc) May 22, 2016
If that collar curls up any more it'll be in his nose. #engvtur pic.twitter.com/3azieylz32
— Falkland Islands (@falklands_utd) May 22, 2016
The most important thing we've learned tonight is that the red socks experiment hasn't worked at all #engvtur #allwhiteplease
— Ant (@antjwalk) May 22, 2016
Dear @FA
GET RID OF THE BAND!!!!!!#engvtur
— James Britton (@JamesBritton84) May 22, 2016
Hart is without doubt an absolute lunatic but that's what it takes to be that alert 24/7. Unagi. #EngvTur
— Copa90 (@Copa90) May 22, 2016
Football really isn't what it used to be… Especially not now #LeicesterCity have completed it! #engvtur
— Matthew ツ (@LessAloof) May 22, 2016