These were all the best jokes after an Adam Lallana goal in added time secured a 0-1 World Cup qualification win for England against ten-man Slovakia in Sam Allardyce’s first game in charge of the side.
A winning start was secured for the new manager after a dull game, one which featured a remarkably familiar starting lineup for a new coach, finally saw a goal in the 95th minute despite England facing ten men for over half an hour following Martin Škrtel’s red card.
Has much changed from Roy’s reign? Here are the best jokes from Slovakia 0-1 England as Sam Allardyce takes over:
— Dream Team (@dreamteamfc) September 4, 2016
Not saying this match is dull, but I've just compiled and laminated a list of my Top 20 granary loaves. #SLOENG
— Dan (@ThatConnArtist) September 4, 2016
Why is the W missing from the middle of this hashtag? #SLOENG
— Ian Hyland (@HylandIan) September 4, 2016
Paint watches England dry.
— Tim Bolton (@timbolton1) September 4, 2016
— Clive Gritt (@TheCliveGritt) September 4, 2016
Shall I watch the 2nd half of England or just punch myself in the face! #BoringHell
— Darren Huckerby (@hucks6dh6) September 4, 2016
When's Roy stepping down 😳#SLOENG
— Trevor Sinclair (@trevor8sinclair) September 4, 2016
— Tony Brannon (@TonyBrannon) September 4, 2016
Bet Reeva Steenkamp wishes Adam Lallana had taken 6 shots at her #England
— Orrible Ives (@Orrible_Ives) September 4, 2016
Rooney is so deep I can see Adele rolling around with him. #SLOENG
— Russell (@Cast_N0_Shadow) September 4, 2016
Raheem Sterling comes off, to be replaced by promising young England hopeful… Theo Walcott.
— Paddy Power (@paddypower) September 4, 2016
— BermondseyBoy (@Bermondsey1885) September 4, 2016
How can there still be 25 mins to go? This game has been going on for 3 weeks #SLOENG
— General Boles (@GeneralBoles) September 4, 2016
Haven't seen England play this poorly since the last time I saw England play.
— Matt Holt Tips (@MattHoltTips) September 4, 2016
Raheem Sterling plays like he's walked into Tescos 5 minutes before closing time and realised he has a full shop to do…#SLOENG
— Speedoman (@Sheppyuk) September 4, 2016
Hard to know if "Dier" is the man in possession, or just a general commentary on the performance. #SLOENG
— Dan O'Hagan (@danohagan) September 4, 2016
— Hplar Kram (@MarkRalph74) September 4, 2016
I think we've been patient long enough. It's time for Allerdyce to go. #sloeng
— Ross Lawson (@Ross_Lawson) September 4, 2016
Haven't seen England play this poorly since they lost 5-1 to Newcastle on the last day of the season.
— Danny Welbeck (@WelBeast) September 4, 2016
If only England had a tenth of the creativity of Philip Green's accountants. #SLOENG
— Peter Smith (@Redpeter99) September 4, 2016
— Jonny Gould (@jonnygould) September 4, 2016
Roy Hodgson sitting at home, drunk, in his pants, screaming "THIS! DO YOU SEE? WHAT I WAS WORKING WITH?" at the telly #SLOENG
— Nadine Andie (@andiekarenina) September 4, 2016
— Steve Kilner (@1StevieKilner) September 4, 2016
English player dives: clever play, felt a touch.
Foreign player dives: kill his family the smelly foreign wanker. #SLOENG
— Diamond Jack (@Diamond__Jack) September 4, 2016
I'm sure ITV have just put the same game from the Euros on and gone down the pub #SLOENG
— Aaron Whiley (@AaronWhiley) September 4, 2016
That goal was a scruffy as a tramp in Marble Arch covered in Special Brew & vomit. #SLOENG
— Laura Jones (@YICETOR) September 4, 2016
— Daniel Holloway (@RFCdan) September 4, 2016
Final whistle. Well, that really was 90 seconds of pulsating football #SLOENG
— Ben Bailey Smith (@docbrown88) September 4, 2016
Based on that, England's next two years are going look pretty similar to the last two. And not remarkably different to the two before.
— Dan Levene (@danlevene) September 4, 2016
Massive step forward for England. After losing to Iceland we've now beaten a country with 15 times their population. We're back!
— Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) September 4, 2016
Why do England even compete in stuff
— Ahmad (@ChieflySarcastc) September 4, 2016