The best jokes as England beat Sweden in World Cup quarter-final

Gareth Southgate's side march on in Russia.

Harry Maguire will enjoy the tweets and jokes after England beat Sweden 2-0 in the World Cup quarter-final, as he scored
HEADER: Harry (Image: Кирилл Венедиктов)

England comfortably beat Sweden 2-0 in their World Cup Russia 2018 quarter-final clash at the Samara Arena on Saturday.

Gareth Southgate’s side march on in the competition after headers from Harry Maguire and Dele Alli secured the victory, although goalkeeper Jordan Pickford was also called upon to make some crucial saves.

After a result that was rarely in doubt, with a now very excited nation in tow, here are the best tweets and jokes after Sweden 0-2 England in the World Cup quarter-final:

Jordan Pickford is so going to be the face of a bank's saving account range after this tournament #ENGSWE #SWEENG

— James Shaddock (@jpshaddock) July 7, 2018



Enthusiasm at it's finest #ENGSWE pic.twitter.com/LhRLcr3UxW

— RJ (@rjfxm) July 7, 2018


This guy wins the World Cup of awesomeness #ENGSWE pic.twitter.com/DxxJh4kYOO

— Jonny B Goode (@JonnyBangles69) July 7, 2018


‘celebrate by putting ya sprinklers on’ LOL #ENGSWE

— Kirstie (@KirstieBrittain) July 7, 2018

*Consults Magna Carta*

HM The Queen is now obliged to buy each and every one of us a chippy tea, as is my understanding. #ENGSWE #cominghome

— flower-of-a-small-flat (@floweroflondon) July 7, 2018

Maguire to Stones “leave it Stonesy, we’ll do em in the car park” #ENGSWE pic.twitter.com/FqTU0QatBw

— Will (@willgreatorex) July 7, 2018


Watching with my Swedish roommate is awkward… #ENGSWE ⚽️ pic.twitter.com/GBtc8Dk76m

— Joe Tasker (@JoeTasker) July 7, 2018


At this rate our four month old daughter won't even know that football was away on holiday. #ENGSWE #WorldCup

— David Bedwell Is Using Common Sense (@DavidBedwell) July 7, 2018

It appears that we once had the least exciting war of all time with Sweden. #ENGSWE pic.twitter.com/okTMzyej9n

— James O'Malley (@Psythor) July 7, 2018

It’s confirmed. It is definitely coming home. #ItsComingHome #ENGSWE #ThreeLions pic.twitter.com/97t1n3WTz9

— Aish Boom (@AishhBoom) July 7, 2018


Thanks Sweden! @IKEAUK @motherlondon this one's for free #topical #ENG #ENGSWE #ItsComingHome pic.twitter.com/X3Wz3AYZwb

— Rory Peyton Jones (@RoryPeytonJones) July 7, 2018

Scandinavia hasn’t taken a beating like this off the English since Alfred shattered Guthrum the Old’s Shieldwall at the Battle of Edington in 878. #ENGSWE

— Humphrey Ker (@thehumphreyker) July 7, 2018

Don’t forget those less fortunate at this tumultuous time for English football… #ENGSWE pic.twitter.com/vC5M03Th02

— Randomitable (@Randomitable) July 7, 2018



‘It’s our third home birth. My wife’s an absolute machine.’ Top quality analysis from Fabian Delph. #ENGSWE

— Miles Evans (@milominder) July 7, 2018


Swedish fans after listening to "It's coming home" for 90 minutes. #ENGSWE pic.twitter.com/d2JpNZXDaw

— Trev (@TrevorShirrefs) July 7, 2018

BREAKING: Every men’s store up and down the land has just sold out of navy waistcoats. #ENGSWE

— Mike P Williams (@Mike_P_Williams) July 7, 2018

…..last five minutes of the #ENGSWE game and my dad starts playing "winner takes it all" by ABBA to "play the swedes off" dAD

— Princex Bex, Lovely But Stressed (@BA2_Peterson) July 7, 2018


Harry said to me “I thought you might buckle under the pressure” I said “I’ll do the jokes harry, you do the headers!” #ENGSWE pic.twitter.com/BBEFF6Su7O

— Gareth Southgate’s Waistcoat (@s_waistcoat) July 7, 2018


Has anyone checked on Ross Kemp yet??? #ENGSWE #SWEvENG #EnglandvSweden pic.twitter.com/ZnpSVTNZcN

— ɢᴀᴠɪɴ (@gavinworby) July 7, 2018

absolutely huge sigh of relief that i can still listen to abba without feeling bitter #ENGSWE

— Abby Tomlinson (@twcuddleston) July 7, 2018

"Happiness consumes itself like a flame. It cannot burn for ever, it must go out, and the presentiment of its end destroys it at its very peak."
August Strindberg#ENGSWE #Worldcup pic.twitter.com/6hB4ILE6jc

— BLTP (@Gargarin) July 7, 2018

Fabian Delph on the birth of his third daughter :

It's a once in a lifetime event.

Brilliant! #ENGSWE #EnglandvsSweden

— Chris Jones (@chrisjones1975) July 7, 2018

The year 7 register in 2029:
Gareth. Here sir.
Pickford. Here sir.
Kane. Here sir.
Harry. Here sir.
Harry. Here sir.
Harry. Here sir.
Harrina. Here sir.#ENGSWE

— Jeffrey Boakye (@jeffreykboakye) July 7, 2018

Football's not home yet… but it's called its mum and told her to put the kettle on.#WorldCup2018 #WorldCup #ENGSWE #England #ItsComingHome

— Raphaël (@RaphaelSBriand) July 7, 2018


Nipping down to Timpsons to get a spare key cut for Football. Because it's coming home #ENGSWE

— Alex (@alex_henry101) July 7, 2018

If Russia win their game tonight, England are going to need a food taster.#ENGSWE

— David Webb (@db_webb) July 7, 2018

Watching footage of fans around the country. The Leeds crowd were the only ones who didn't chuck their beer in the air at the final whistle. They know the value of a quid in Yorkshire #ENGSWE

— TenInchWheels // Beershots (@teninchwheels) July 7, 2018


KNIGHTHOODS FOR LITERALLY EVERYONE also the waistcoat to go on permanent public display #ENGSWE

— gabyhinsliff (@gabyhinsliff) July 7, 2018

Not all heroes wear capes, some wear waistcoats #ENGSWE #GarethSouthgate pic.twitter.com/wupbemp9DT

— Ella McRobb (@ellamac23) July 7, 2018

I am living in my worst nightmare. #ENGSWE

— Jamie Ross (@JamieRoss7) July 7, 2018

‘So what happened was, England needed someone to step up and I thought ok, if I’m needed, I’ll do it. So then what happened was I scored a blinder and now I’m a national hero. What you doing later?’ #ENGSWE #Itscominghome #england pic.twitter.com/ETfefJxwmJ

— Steve (@HoldenioVilla) July 7, 2018

You versus the girl he tells you not to worry about pic.twitter.com/KNlFTiPynS

— Ted Lasso (@SpursTedLasso) July 7, 2018

We are all waistcoats today. #engswe

— Shaparak Khorsandi (@ShappiKhorsandi) July 7, 2018


Never thought I’d be so happy to see a semi #ENGSWE

— Hannah Jane Parkinson (@ladyhaja) July 7, 2018

Arise Sir Jordan of House Pickford, He who is Safe of Hands, Saviour of England, Warden of the Goal line. #ENGSWE pic.twitter.com/S0w8FfbDsW

— Will? (@Nightinbard) July 7, 2018


The date is Oct 24th, 2018. 100 days since football came home. Sir Harry Kane now lives in Buckingham Palace. Harry Maguire’s column has been erected in Trafalgar Square. Pickford is on the new £50 note. Gareth Southgate is the new host of The Great British Bake Off. #ENGSWE

— Channel 4 (@Channel4) July 7, 2018

Good for him #ENGSWE pic.twitter.com/Ir9vtlaLkJ

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) July 7, 2018

Flat pack your bags, Sweden. You’re going home. #ENGSWE

— Prince Charles (@Charles_HRH) July 7, 2018

⚽ England player ratings ⚽
* Pickford – 10/10
* Walker – 10/10
* Stones – 10/10
* Maguire – 10/10
* Trippier – 10/10
* Alli – 10/10
* Henderson – 10/10
* Lingard – 10/10
* Young – 10/10
* Sterling – 10/10
* Kane – 10/10
* Dier – 10/10
* Delph – 10/10
* Rashford – 10/10

— Soccer AM (@SoccerAM) July 7, 2018