Now that the English press have finally forced poor Luis Suárez away from Liverpool by making him repeatedly bite, cheat and be racist to people, the loveable rogue is free to join Real Madrid for whatever whopping great transfer fee all parties deem acceptable.
As usual when something even mildly interesting occurs, Twitter was shot through with pure gold to alleviate the frightening stupidity and misinformation. Here, then, are our favourite ‘Suárez leaving Liverpool’ tweets…
Liverpoo fans burning Suarez shirts already… Awkward. twitter.com/TweetChelseaFC…
— TweetChelseaFC™ (@TweetChelseaFC) May 31, 2013
Note the stylistic quirk of spelling ‘Liverpool’ as ‘Liverpoo’. Fresh.
— Sid Lowe (@sidlowe) May 31, 2013
Further congratulations for having purchased a blue Liverpool kit.
Barcelona are well prepared for Luis Suarez in case he sign for Real Madrid this summer. twitter.com/Wicknes07/stat…
— wicknesseven (@Wicknes07) May 31, 2013
You know, ’cause he did that thing.
— Barry Devine (@BAZZADEVINE) June 1, 2013
Diving is no laughing matter.
Liverpool issue a statement to say Luis Suarez is staying, but the feeling remains that they might have bitten off more than they can chew.
— HaveIGotNewsForYou(@haveigotnews) May 31, 2013
Wherever Suarez ends up he won’t be flying there by Easyjet. With all his baggage he wouldn’t be allowed on the plane.
— Miles Jacobson (@milesSI) May 31, 2013
Think Suarez experience in English football will always leave a bitter taste in his mouth
— Rodney Marsh (@RodneyMarsh10) May 31, 2013
It would be a shame if our media’s accurate coverage of Suarez’s racism and biting drives him out of this country.
— News Manc (@NewsManc) May 31, 2013
Haven’t you heard? It’s a conspiracy.
Goodbye Suarez, you won’t be missed !! twitter.com/JordaanBroown/…
— Jordan Brown (@JordaanBroown) May 31, 2013
Except by Liverpool, of course.
Just been accused by someone of “fustigating” Luis Suarez ever since he arrived in England. Is that a good or a bad thing? #fustigategate
— Phil McNulty (@philmcnulty) May 31, 2013
“1. To beat with a club; cudgel. 2. To criticize harshly”
Were you beating him with a club?
@philmcnulty Were you the one who put BBQ sauce all over Branislav Ivanovic so that he would entice Suarez into taking a bite out of him?
— Neva Renee García (@NevaRenee) May 31, 2013
That was McNulty? Badass.
Fed up with the English press? I’m not sure going to the highest profile club in the world with a famously critical press is wise. #suarez
— James Walsh (@jamesstarsailor) May 31, 2013
Good point, James Walsh, lead singer of popular beat combo Starsailor.
Did Suárez really say “Nobody has supported me through these hard times” – twitter.com/Carter92_/stat…
— Danny (@Carter92_) May 31, 2013
Now those would make some good burning shirts.
— Paul Dalglish (@pauldalglish) May 31, 2013
No, Liza Minnelli.
Suarez knew what he was doing when he but ivanovic,it was a great way to get out the club #Hustled
— darrenbyfield (@darrenbyfield) May 31, 2013
*Plays X-Files theme*
Luis Suarez Liverpool Career:77 Games38 Goals23 Assists19 Dives8 Handballs5 Racist Remarks2 Buck Teeth1 Bite
— BBC Sporf (@BBCSporf) May 31, 2013
…and a partridge in a pear tree? Seriously, though, would have thought there’d be more dives.
Nice going British media. This is all your fault. What do you have to say for yourselves? #Suarez
— Alexi Lalas (@AlexiLalas) May 31, 2013
See, Americans can do irony.
Silence! Suarez is a golden god and you will treat him as such. You can’t even fathom the depth of his powers.
— Alexi Lalas (@AlexiLalas) May 31, 2013
Just in case you weren’t sure.
— Pro-Direct Soccer (@ProD_Soccer) May 31, 2013
What a plug! Incidentally, Plug from the Bash Street Kids was also buck-toothed.
“He owes us..” – Not sure if pinning all your hope on Luis Suarez’s moral compass is going to work, y’know. Just on evidence, like.
— Daniel Sandison (@DanielSandison) May 31, 2013
There were also these:
— Richard Buxton (@Richard_Buxton_) May 31, 2013
He’ll conveniently blame the media, I imagine. Nothing like having an excuse.
— Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) May 31, 2013
Suarez gave great service but missed 20 games,dragged the image of the club through the mud and now blames media for his exit #topguy
— Didi Hamann (@DietmarHamann) May 31, 2013
Luis Suarez wants to leave Liverpool #imstartingtocryasitweet
— mick quinn (@mickquinn1089) May 31, 2013