Funny Football Tweets: Cole, Le Fondre, Zakuani, Lescott, Ranger and several others!

Chelsea's Ashley Cole
Cole… Can hurt you (Img: Football.ua)

Relive the weekend’s action via the cherished medium of Funny Football Tweets, why not…

Thinly Veiled Threat of the Weekend…

Ashley Cole, Chelsea

Some people are glutton for punishment, if u dnt like me don’t follow me cos u can’t hurt me but I can hurt u

— Ashley Cole (@TheRealAC3) January 20, 2013

X-Rated Response to Thinly Veiled Threat of the Weekend (of the Weekend)…

This guy (NB: not the real Yaya Toure)

@therealac3 how? With a mobile phone and a tub of KY jelly?

— yaya toure (@YayaToure_) January 20, 2013

Africa Cup of Nations Diarist of the Weekend…

Gabriel Zakuani, DR Congo and Peterborough United

Ghana’s hoof ball in the last 20 suited me down to a tee, Squeeeeeeeze lol

— Gabriel Zakuani (@Gabs50Zakuani) January 20, 2013

Pun Session of the Weekend…

Adam Le Fondre, Reading, having scored this bizarre goal with his chest in the Royals’ 2-1 win at Newcastle United…

Good to have a proper look at my 1st goal again! Its a Good job iv been in the gym with @richard_ptu pecked it in! Haha #1yardking#power

— Adam Le Fondre (@A1F1E9) January 20, 2013

“@al__84: @a1f1e9 Was the breast goal I’ve seen all season! #seewhatididthere?”very good

— Adam Le Fondre (@A1F1E9) January 20, 2013

“@mmartin_89: @a1f1e9 @al__84 more like Unbelievable Peccers!! Simply the Chest!”

— Adam Le Fondre (@A1F1E9) January 20, 2013

Offer of the Weekend…

Nile Ranger, Newcastle United

Going nandos.. Any1 got a problem.. Meet me there. We can talk it through :)

— Nile ranger (@NilePowerRanger) January 20, 2013

Hacked Off Arsenal Fans of the Weekend…

Jason Brown, Aberdeen

I was going to get my boy a season ticket next season not with this team

— Jason Brown (@greathover32) January 20, 2013

Darren Byfield, ex-Walsall

@jordanstewart3 why you calling me for???just watch the game and leave me alone

— darrenbyfield (@darrenbyfield) January 20, 2013

Toe Banter of the Weekend…

Joleon Lescott, Manchester City and Nigel de Jong, AC Milan

@ndj_official really you wanna talk about toes. I swear you have the biggest big toe in world football. #TurkeyDrummerToes

— Joleon Lescott (@JoleonLescott) January 20, 2013

Advice of the Weekend…

Keith Gillespie, Longford Town

Gary Lineker deletes Twitter account cos it’s taking up too much time. Don’t tweet every 2 minutes then

— Keith Gillespie (@KeithGillespie7) January 20, 2013

Observation of the Weekend…

Dean Kiely, West Bromwich Albion goalkeeping coach

How dare Chelsea players score on 16 mins and make their fans cheer a goal instead of their usual protest on 16 mins #onlyjoking #sarcasm

— Dean Kiely (@deankiely40) January 20, 2013

Admission of the Weekend…

Adam Forshaw, Brentford

Gonna be honest, I’ve just had a full conversation with marcello trotta and didn’t understand a word he was saying

— Adam Forshaw (@aforshaw) January 20, 2013

Phil Neville Yoga Buddy of the Weekend…

Darron Gibson, Everton

Yoga time with @fizzer18!!! #zzzzzzzzzzz

— Darron Gibson (@D_gibson4) January 20, 2013

Good Loser of the Weekend…

Sascha Riether, Fulham

Me and my mate @eddzeko twitter.com/saschariether/…

— sascha riether (@saschariether) January 20, 2013

Unsung Heroes of the Weekend…

Superb work by St Mary’s staff to clear snow around the stadium ahead of tomorrow’s game against @everton. #saintsfc twitter.com/officialsaints…

— Southampton FC (@officialsaints) January 20, 2013

Sardonic Retort to Unsung Heroes of the Weekend (of the Weekend)…

Alistair Barrie, stand-up comedian

@officialsaints Probably about time Mr Cortese sacked them then. #saintsfc

— Alistair Barrie (@AlistairBarrie) January 20, 2013

Disingenuousness of the Weekend…

John Guidetti, Manchester City

So what we lost today ! Still I’m Feyenoord till I die !!!! instagr.am/p/UtyJHgRQW_/

— John Guidetti (@superguidetti) January 20, 2013

Peter Løvenkrands Snowman of the Weekend…

This guy’s

@lovenkrands11 Peter the snowman!! twitter.com/chancellor09/s…

— Scott Chancellor (@chancellor09) January 19, 2013

21st Century Man of the Weekend…

Karl Watson, Leicester City

Ironic how u meet people over social media but if anything serious ever comes from it it becomes the star of every argument?

— Karlton Watson (@KarltonWatson) January 20, 2013

Predictive Text Mishap of the Weekend…

Micky Hazard, ex-Tottenham Hotspur

Well deserved made all the running 2nd half and looked much better with Bale and Benny down lady much better balance COYSCOYSCOYS

— Micky Hazard (@1MickyHazard) January 20, 2013

Double-Take of the Weekend…

Devante Cole, Manchester City

Wait wait wait did I really just see a girl sucking on a tampon -_-

— Coley-Cole (@DevanteeeCole) January 20, 2013

Faith in Humanity Restorer of the Weekend…

Nathan Eccleston, Blackpool

Just seen a women with a lil girl stop n give a homeless man a sandwich on my way to cinema cost nothing to be nicewhat a nice women

— Nathan Eccleston(@NathanEccleston) January 20, 2013

Tune in on Friday for more funny football tweets, folks!