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Pope latest: Di Canio throws hat in ring as race hots up

By Jonny Abrams

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Paolo Di Canio
“Bless you, my child” (Img: Hilton Teper)

The race to be Pope took a new twist this morning as Swindon Town manager Paolo Di Canio declared his intention to replace the outgoing Benedict XVI.

The Italian, mental, believes that his Roman origins and fascist credentials make him the outstanding candidate for the vacant Vatican hot seat, but he faces strong opposition for the role from Nigel Adkins and Alan Curbishley.

Speaking to Football Burp just yesterday, Harry Redknapp declared that he was “serious” about taking the job even though everyone thought the rumours were a joke.

Speaking to Football Burp today, Di Canio, [Motson voice]who of course played under Redknapp at West Ham United[/Motson voice], boasted that he would get the Vatican City playing Champions League football within five years, and that if he didn’t get the job then “everyone can go **** themselves”.

He emoted: “If they say, ‘No, Paulo’, it will not matter – I will stay and win the World Cup with Swindon.

“We have recently been playing many games against countries all very nearby, countries I never hear of, so my players are tired. They are fierce and determined like soldiers, and yet they disgust me.

“This does not matter – we will win the World Cup anyway!”

Once it had been explained to him that he was in fact managing Swindon and not Sweden, Di Canio shrugged and saluted in a controversial manner.

He said: “This explains why I could not find good meatballs anywhere. The Swedes, I hear, they are famous for their meatballs, yet I cannot find any to compare with the meatballs my mother make[s] with spaghetti.

“But yes, this explains it.”

The interview was then interrupted as Di Canio paused to catch a football that was suddenly flying towards us.

He said: “Your photographer – he is down injured.”

So he was. And to think, I hadn’t even noticed.

Should Di Canio be the Pope? Have your say in the comments section below…