Newcastle Youngster Arrested Again For Lamping Yoga Instructor

Fake News » Newcastle Youngster Arrested Again For Lamping Yoga Instructor

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Newcastle United youngster Nile Ranger is a bit of a loose cannon, to say the least.
Ranger... Delightful

Troubled Newcastle United youngster Nile Ranger has been arrested once again for allegedly punching a yoga instructor in the face.

The 20 year-old striker had been held by police in the early hours of Sunday after a late-night street row while out with friends and will appear in front of a magistrates’ court later this month to face a charge of being “drunk and disorderly”.

This latest incident, which is sure to incur the wrath of Magpies boss Alan Pardew coming as it did so soon before last night’s 3-1 win at Stoke City, comes just days after Ranger was informed that he will face court over an alleged drink-driving offence – and he is due to answer bail over an alleged August attack on a man outside a popular Newcastle nightspot in just another few days’ time.

Aged 15, he spent eleven weeks in a young offenders’ institution after being found guilty of taking part in an armed street robbery and was released by Southampton Football Club for further bad behaviour a couple of years later.

Ranger, who has denied feeding poisoned milk to schoolchildren, had been ordered by his club to undertake yoga classes in order to help him control his temper – but the move backfired when he lashed out at the instructor just before his first session.

He said: “The instructor was taking the piss, innit bruv?

“He stepped up to me and introduced himself as Yogi, so I gave him a smack in the mouth. You get me?

“I seen that cartoon and I ain’t nothing like that pussyhole Park Ranger. I’m Nile Ranger, know what I mean? I’m not some dumb brere who can’t keep track of a few picnic baskets. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that I’m smarter than the average brere.”

He added: “Why are you laughing? And why does everyone keep saying ‘looks like you made a bit of a Boo-Boo’?

“I’ll Boo-Boo your face, you get me?”

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