FA chairman Greg Dyke has admitted he made a mistake in thinking that his mates Dave, Gary, Alan, Bob, Danny Mills, Steve and Harry would constitute a suitable commission into improving the future of English football.
Dyke, embattled, had reasoned that it probably wouldn’t matter because no one would really notice or even ask any questions as long as he appeared to be doing something.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Dyke admitted his shock at finding out that Jamaican woman Heather Rabbatts had gone to the trouble of pointing out what a steaming pile of turd jerky the whole thing was.
He said: “I didn’t see what the fuss is all about at first – after all, they’ve all got such nice clean blazers.
“Then I thought about it, and I could see why Heather took offence – I didn’t ask her to be on it, and I know how chicks can get when they don’t feel like they’re getting enough attention.
“Maybe I should have asked my friends Leroy, Rikesh, Sol Campbell and Li Wen to be on it, but they’re not part of our poker school so probably not to be trusted.
“Oh, how about this – spacemonkeygate didn’t feel like the right environment to be positively discriminating in. What do you say to that, then?
“Are you saying I should have resorted to positive discrimination?
Football Burp was kind of offended but also kind of stumped.