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Cardiff City head of recruitment farce declared “beyond parody”

"To dilute its hilarity, even remotely, would be akin to knocking down the Colosseum and building a multistorey carpark," said a spokesperson.

By Jonny Abrams

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Vincent Tan
Tan… Comedy genius (Image: Jon Candy)

It’s the Cardiff City head of recruitment farce that’s swept the nation – and it’s leaving satirical football websites floundering in its wake.

The Bluebirds, red, have suspended Iain Moody, a trusted member of Malky Mackay’s backroom staff, and replaced him with some young Kazakh who was previously on work experience.

Alisher Apsalyamov, 23, is believed to be a friend of owner Vincent Tan’s son.

Mackay was reported to have been enraged by the move, although Burp sources understand that he’s still at the half-smiling, gradually-dwindling-conviction-that-it’s-just-a-wind-up stage.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, a spokesperson for the SFWA (Satirical Football Websites Association) confirmed that the Cardiff City head of recruitment farce has been declared officially BP (beyond parody).

She said: “In order to preserve its comedic integrity, we ask that no parodical measures be taken with regards the Cardiff City head of recruitment farce.

“To dilute its hilarity, even remotely, would be akin to knocking down the Colosseum and building a multistorey carpark in its place.

“So please, no weak articles titled something liked ‘Cardiff set to replace Mackay with janitor’s dog’.

“Let’s just enjoy a rare piece of perfectly formed self-parody when it presents itself.”

We were going to go with “Cardiff set to replace Mackay with cat that came in looking for food”, but whatever.