Manchester United overlord Sir Alex Ferguson has claimed that Robin van Persie “could have been killed” by Swansea City defender Ashley Williams’s decision to punt a football at his head.
The Scotsman, 387, was…oh hang about, he actually did say that, thus undermining the element of spoof and/or satire presupposed by the nature of this section of the website.
Speaking exclusively to someone else, Ferguson really did say…
In the Van Persie situation you can clearly see that he could have been killed. The FA has got to look into it regardless that he has been given a yellow card. He should be banned for a long time because that was the most dangerous thing I’ve seen on a football field for many years.
Robin van Persie is lucky to be alive … Robin could have had a broken neck.
Ferguson added: “I’m sorry, I’d been at the egg nog.
“You can tell I didn’t actually say this bit as it’s in italics, although for the purposes of satire: yes, I did actually say this.
“I mean, obviously I didn’t, but play along for crying out loud. It’s Christmas.”
Football Burp would like to thank Sir Alex for saving us the trouble of having to make something up, and wish a very merry Christmas to all of our readers!