Everton line up £35m Stormzy as Lukaku replacement

UK grime star lined up to replace United-bound Lukaku.

Is this Stormzy or Lukaku?
STAR STRIKER: Stormzy (Image: Александр Осипов)

UK grime star Stormzy is poised to sign for Everton as a £35m replacement for Romelu Lukaku.

Ronald Koeman’s Toffees moved quickly to reinvest some of the initial £75m that Manchester United will pay them for Belgian hotshot Lukaku.

With his relatively similar appearance, Stormzy has been identified as an ideal choice to lead the line at Goodison Park next season.

He will link up with Wayne Rooney, who returned to his boyhood club over the weekend as something to keep him occupied during his retirement years.

Stormzy’s record of 0 games and 0 goals at Premier League level is sure to be of concern to many supporters, but Koeman is optimistic of success.

He told Football Burp: “I’ve spoken at length with Steve Walsh about Stormzy and we know what his strengths are.

“Man knows, for example, that Stormzy kicks up the youth – and with Tom Davies, Ademola Lookman, Dominic Calvert-Lewin and Mason Holgate around the first team, that could be something we need.

“We also expect him to interject with a timely ‘shut up’ any time Rooney gets a bit carried away yelling at the referee.”