Some old **** has apologised to another old **** for calling him an old ****, it has emerged.

The ****, Newcastle United manager Alan Pardew, was incensed following Cheikh Tiote’s disallowed goal against Manchester City, managed by that other **** Manuel Pellegrini.

Pardew was caught red-handed when replays showing the nature of his diatribe went viral, so the Cockney **** – probably more of a **** than that other ****, truth be told – took it upon himself to express contrition.

Or should that be ****trition?

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Pardew explained that he had been carried away in the heat of the moment, “quite literally (sic)”.

He prattled: “We all say and do things that we regret from time to time, and this was one such occasion for myself.

“I’ve apologised to that ****, and he accepted my apology with all the good grace you’d expect from such an experienced ****.

“As far as I’m concerned that’s the end of the matter.”

Pardew then waffled on about something else like a right old ****.