Roberto Martínez: Belgium Manager last night premiered at Odeon Leicester Square to a rapturous reception.

Howls of laughter greeted the mockumentary, which stars the former Everton and Wigan boss blundering his way into the Belgium job.

Highlights of the film include a shock cup run and a tactics board with “plan B: see plan A” written on it.

According to eyewitness reports, Romelu Lukaku and Kevin Mirallas sat on a balcony firing off curmudgeonly zingers.

Speaking to Football Burp, Lukaku joked that he was only attending Roberto Martínez: Belgium Manager as he’d entered a competition.

He said: “Yeah, I lost!”

After some guffawing, he continued: “You know, it wasn’t that bad.”

He paused, smirking, oblivious to our familiarity with the punchline.

After some time, he said: “Yeah, it was all bad!”

Mirallas then grabbed the mic off Lukaku but proceeded to make a right balls-up of it.

Elsewhere, Man Utd and Everton stood about playing rock, paper, scissors for hours to celebrate the launch of Twelve Years of Wayne Rooney.