A mayfly has been appointed as new Leeds United manager by the club’s evil and charismatic owner Massimo Cellino, we can exclusively reveal.
The insect, aquatic, has spent the last year taking its coaching badges as a nymph on a freshwater lake, but with metamorphosis nearing completion it has been identified by Cellino as a suitable replacement for the “missing” Darko Milanič.
Leeds go into Saturday’s crunch game at Cardiff under the guidance of their eighty-fourth first team manager in just three months, toppling the record set by Watford last week.
Giving Burp his first official interview as new Leeds United manager, the mayfly claimed that Cellino was impressed with its short life expectancy and willingness to accept orders.
It said: “The likes of Darko, Dave Hockaday and Brian McDermott are all well over five foot, whereas Massimo wanted something he could crush with the stamp of a shoe or swat of a newspaper.
“Hopefully it won’t come to that, albeit I’m only supposed to live for about a day anyway.
“I’m very much looking forward to my twenty-four-hour stint as new Leeds United manager, and I hope that the players will take to my ideas with regards training and tactics.
It quipped: “A bit like myself, really.”
It then died, paving the way for Neil Redfearn to take over.
Redfearn has confirmed that his assistant manager will be Spinal Tap’s drummer.