Last night’s Manchester comebacks in the Champions League took on a life of their own as a full-on ‘Madchester’ revival kicked in, it is being reported.
Manchesters City and United both came back to win 2-1 from a goal down, igniting a lust for Manchester comebacks that quickly got out of hand as folk started strutting around in baggy clothes, sun hats and cheap shades while parroting the phrase “mad for it” in a druggily incoherent squawk.
Squawking exclusively to Football Burp, one pilled-up raver complained that his melon had been twisted.
He said: “I don’t know how it happened or who did it, but as you can see my melon’s been completely twisted.
“It’s absolute chaos at the moment, everyone swaggering around like some kind of acid house Liam Gallagher and proclaiming themselves to be the resurrection, so I probably shouldn’t have taken my melon out in the first place.
“My heart’s beating like the start of ‘Blue Monday’ just thinking about all the damaging narcotics swimming around my system.
“I can’t wait until Britpop kicks back in and we can all just get back to swilling lager and missing the point of Underworld lyrics.”