John Terry’s family were this morning left reeling as their sit-down breakfast descended into a five-hour This Is Your Life special on the Chelsea stalwart.
Terry has long displayed a flair for gratuitous self-congratulation, most recently interrupting his side’s final-day clash with Sunderland after 26 minutes to unveil a statue in his honour.
And he didn’t fail to disappoint at the breakfast table this morning, fielding questions about his glittering career from Michael Aspel for a cool three hundred minutes.
Speaking exclusively to Jamie Carragher and Gary Neville afterwards, Terry remained philosophical.
He mused: “It was a breakfast of two halves, really.
“There was the first half where I had Weetabix, and the second half where we were all choreographed to recreate some of my most memorable goals.
“I finished it all off with a ten-minute reading of my favourite Bernard Manning jokes. He’s always pure cracked me up, mate.
“‘Ere, are you looking for beak, mate? Yeah, beak.
“Never mind, it doesn’t matter. Just walk along, sunshine.”