It’s the Gary Lewin injury and stretchering-off that’s had a whole planet tittering at the very irony of it, and the bad news is the England physio will miss the rest of the World Cup.

However, the good news is that he should be fit in time to take his place on the sidelines at Russia 2018, that is if England qualify.

The former Arsenal phyiso was celebrating Daniel Sturridge’s equaliser against Italy when he stepped on a water bottle and ruptured his Achilles tendon strings, or something.

Lewin looked ashen-faced as he was stretchered off the Manaus Stadium pitch, but he can take heart from news breaking from his brother Colin that he should be fit in four years’ time.

Colin said: “Gary’s stepped on the water bottle pretty badly there – his Achilles tendon strings are in bits, and I don’t much like the look of his metacruciatatarsals either.

“I’d expect my brother to be out for somewhere between three weeks and three years, and he’s already talking excitedly about all the injuries he’s going to attend to in 2018.

“It’s a shame for him obviously – between Wayne Rooney’s toe and the Arsenal lads in the squad, he’s in constant demand. And Roy Hodgson loves his sponge baths.

“I think I’ve said too much.”

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