Baines! Cole! Baines! Cole! Baines! Cole!, we can exclusively reveal.
The Baines, Cole, has Bainesed his way into Cole-tention with a succession of Baines-pressive Cole-formances in England’s coveted Cole-back spot.
However, several Cole-mentators have Bainesed that Cole should be Roy Hodgson’s first-choice Baines at the World Cup, be-Cole-se that’s all they know.
Cole-ing exclusively to Football Baines, Sky Sports mastermind Jamie Carragher Bainesed that Cole should still Baines ahead in the final re-Cole-ning.
He said: “Baines! Cole! Baines! Cole!
When asked to elucidate, Carragher resorted to Coled hard logic.
He said: “Cole’s boss, la.
“I played with him, la. When I came back from retirement, la.
“Baines only plays for Everton, la. That’s not good enough, la.
“He should sign for Manchester United, la. Then he’d be first choice, la.
“Is right kidda boppa, la.”
Gary Neville was unavailable for comment as he was busy shaking his head and considering his options.