Germany and Brazil are reportedly completely unaware that they’re set to play friendlies against England within the next five days.

Reigning World Cup holders Germany are due to come to Wembley on Friday night, with Brazil set to follow on Tuesday.

But such is the scale of the apathy greeting the latest in a series of international breaks, not even England’s opposition realise they’ve got games on.

Germany boss Joachim Löw said: “We’re playing England tomorrow? Blimey.

“Okay, I guess I better pull my finger out my nose, pick a squad and get some flights booked.

“Thanks for the heads up.”