England World Cup semi-final rumour turns out to be true

Returning Glastonbury-goers stunned by confirmation of on-site gossip.

England Women playing France Women on their way to reaching a World Cup semi-final
WORLD CUP: Newsworthy (Image: Ashoola)

Returning Glastonbury-goers were this morning stunned to learn that England had in fact reached a World Cup semi-final, as per rumours circulating at the festival.

As thousands of people scraped the mud from off their boots and the detritus from out of their tents, they were gobsmacked to discover that on-site talk of England reaching a World Cup semi-final was not just the product of someone’s fevered LSD trip.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Brian, an acid casualty from Bristol, professed his surprise at the shock news.

He said: “Really, England reached the World Cup semi-finals? I just assumed it was like last year when someone spread a rumour that Les Dennis had joined One Direction.

“They beat who in the quarter-finals? Canada? And they’re playing who in the semis? Japan, you say? Okay, now you’re just yanking my crank.

“Wasn’t there a World Cup last year? Unless of course my poor, LSD-riddled mind deceives me.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure you’re just f***ing with me. Not cool, man.”

He added: “I’m always at my most susceptible to tittle-tattle just after witnessing a 30-song-strong Kanye West performance.”