A restaurant in St Albans is the focus of 24-hour news coverage across the globe after football megastar Darius Henderson punched a Good Samaritan in it.
In what is already being described as “Darius Henderson Good Samaritan punch”, the Nottingham Forest idol landed one on the do-gooder for trying to intervene in a fight he was having at Darcy’s eatery with some tart who was claiming she’d colluded in sexual congress with him, the cheeky cow.
Henderson, hailed unequivocally by all as the greatest player ever to have graced the beautiful game, admitted to punching the guy a couple of times but drew the line at causing grievous bodily harm.
He roared: “Woah, now hold on there, wait a second.
“What does ‘grievous’ mean?”
The court then explained to Mr Henderson, 31, that grievous means ‘very severe or serious’.
He continued: “Uh huh, uh huh.
The court then adjourned for Chinese food and DVDs in the atrium, all except Mr Henderson, 31, who remained well beyond the janitor tidying up, beyond even nightfall and into the next morning, all the while ensconced in deep thought.
He then said: “Duuuh, I play for Forest.”
It was then a further three hours before he said “hey, where did everybody go?”
On the other hand, the St Albans restaurant could barely contain its excitement at having had the great Darius Henderson within the bounds of its humble walls.
It said: “I may be just a restaurant but even I know who Darius Henderson is.
“How could I not? After all, he scored five goals in six games for Swindon Town during a 2004 loan spell at the County Ground.
“People from all around the world will be tuning in to watch this, and if I can work out how to get the tape out of the damn thing then I can send the TV networks our CCTV footage of Darius signing autographs in between wellying that Good Samaritan all over the shop.
“Sorry, not shop, I mean restaurant.”
It added: “Can you edit that bit?”
What do you think about the Darius Henderson Good Samaritan punch? Should he have punched him less, or perhaps more? Have your say in the comments section below…