Celtic literally thrashed into next week

Rodgers's Hoops wake up seven days into the future after comprehensive gubbing at the hands of Barcelona.

Brendan Rodgers is a week ahead after Barcelona 7-0 Celtic
WEEK AHEAD: Rodgers (Image: Geoffrey Hammersley)

Celtic this morning woke up in the near future after Barcelona quite literally thrashed them into next week.

The 7-0 Champions League rout proved so comprehensive it made good on a phrase that until now was thought to be figurative.

It’s an alarming state of affairs for Hoops boss Brendan Rodgers, who now has just a matter of hours to prepare his side for their Scottish League Cup quarter-final against Alloa.

He said: “It’s far from ideal, finding ourselves suddenly one week into the future.

“To make matters even worse – and if you don’t want to know the result, look away now – it turns out we lost Saturday’s game at Inverness Caledonian Thistle.

“Now I’ve just got a few hours to get us ready for the quarter-final instead of a whole week. Well that’s just super.

“So, you know, hello from the future and all that. Give Messi, Suárez and Neymar my regards.

“Not much has happened in the intervening seven days. A minor celebrity died, but I shan’t ruin it by revealing which one.

“Oh, and Owen Smith looks set to win the Labour leadership contest after Jeremy Corbyn’s distasteful Twitter bust-up with Kanye West.

“That’s it for now, folks – more from the future as I have it. Peace out.”