Managers of sides competing in this week’s Capital One Cup third round fixtures shall field understrength sides in what is already being described as “a protest of pedantry”.

The gaffers, of various nationalities and leagues, are united in their conviction that there is no such thing as a capital one because numbers don’t have capitals.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, a spokesperson for the League Managers Association explained that you get capital letters, like LMA, but not capital numbers.

He said: “This titular oversight completely devalues the competition as a whole.

“Why not go back to calling it the Coca Cola Cup, the Worthington Cup or the League Cup? At least those are names that make sense and that everybody can understand.

“It’s so hard to muster enthusiasm for this charade of a tournament that you couldn’t even be bothered to think of something even faintly witty to write about it.

“Look at me just jabbering away as if I actually exist, which of course I don’t because you’ve had to make this up out of exasperation at there being nothing else of note to write about this absurd ruse of a domestic honour.

“Capital One Cup? Crapital One Cup, more like.”

In other news, remember this article and scoff as the inevitable drama unfolds.