Burnley plotting shock double swoop for Joey Barton and Eric Bristow

Clarets chase duo in attempt to deflect attention from Andre Gray's Twitter account.

Joey Barton is on his way back to Burnley

Burnley are readying a shock double swoop for Joey Barton and Eric Bristow in order that Andre Gray’s tweets seem less offensive, we can reveal.

Controversial midfielder Barton will join the Clarets for a second time, while former darts champion Bristow will make an unprecedented switch between sports.

With last season’s top goal-scorer Gray now back in the side following a five-match ban for historical sh*tposting, manager Sean Dyche is eager to reduce the focus on him.

With Barton’s impressive rap sheet and Bristow’s poorly received recent comments on sexually abused footballers, it seems Dyche has found his men.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Bristow outlined his excitement at the prospect of working alongside Gray.

He said: “I read what he had to say about poofs and I agree, we should burn them.

“It’s the least they deserve for touching up kids and that, know what I mean?

“Oh wait, that’s paedos. My bad. Easy mistake to make though, right?

“I trust this puts the matter to bed.”