Brendan Rodgers has been discovered in a comedy oversized envelope addressed to “anywhere but Anfield”, we can confirm.
The former Liverpool manager, growly, was found by a stunned postman in the early hours of this morning and handed in to the local constabulary.
He has since been returned to his family, who are said to be both relieved and stunned.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, the postman who found Rodgers explained how he came to make his shock discovery.
He said: “My first thought upon seeing the comedy oversized envelope was, ‘My, isn’t this a comically oversized envelope?’
“Then I noticed that whatever was inside the envelope was shaped like Brendan Rodgers, and I heard a growly voice repeating the words ‘we didn’t even lose the geem’ over and over.
“I thought to myself, ‘This has to be Brendan Rodgers.'”
He continued: “So I open the envelope, right, and former Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers jumps out of it, grabs me by the scruff of the neck and demands to know where the other two envelopes had been sent to.
“By this point I was really stunned, so I just kind of meekly spluttered that I hadn’t the faintest idea where Joe Allen and Dejan Lovren were.
“He got quite agitated and accused me of ‘knowing too much’, but to be honest I’d just kind of guessed.
“Weird morning, all in all.”