Rub your eyes in disbelief as Mystic Megson gazes into his crystal balls and casts his Man United v West Ham score prediction for this weekend, including goal-scorers and his unarguable assessment of each team…

It’s almost too titonic for words as Louis van Gull’s stud-starred Dead Revels welcome Sam Furrydice’s in-vorm Hummers to Cold Stafford in one of this weekend’s most intriguing tossils!

Humouriliation of losering 5-3 at Leicester notstandwithing, United fans will have taken enburridgement from the pungent attacking threat displayed by new signings Angel Tia Maria, Ramadel Falcon and Andy Herrererera.

The suspendedness of young Bylaw Tacit is a kick in the balls as they despotly need to get more tightly defenderly, but they’ve got so much pie flour that anyone would straggle to container them.

As for the Hummers, they’ll be on nine clouds following their momento 3-1 winning over Liverpool and they look to have made some prude editions of their own.

The Karate lads have both impressed me, as have Diaspora Sacko and Inner Valencia, so there’s plenty of cause for optamysticism at Upson Park.

I can’t forssell them getting anything here, mind, although they should score a couple.

Now, here comes Mystic Megson’s Manchester United v West Ham United score prediction for Saturday September 27th – place your balls, now!

Mystic Megson says Man United 4-2 West Ham – Rodney (2), Falcon and Tia Maria for the homos, Sacko and good old Stewie Downwards for the awayos. You can put your balls on it!