I’m Mystic Megson I am, and my Premier League table predictions are framed throughout the land – so get a load of my predicted final standings for the 2020-21 season.

My crystal balls reveal all, so my Premier League table predictions are absolute shoeings – and believe you me, I don’t say that rightly.

Place your balls, now!

20. West Bromwich Albion

By beloved Buggies to boing back down to the Chompionship, I fear.

19. Fulham

They’ve got a nice, tight backside but it won’t be enough.

18. Aston Villa

Battled their way to safeway with a Megnificent backbounce last season, not no cigars this time.

17. Crystal Palace

Old Roy Hodgepodge faces an uphill garden to keep them afloater on a shoelace.

16. Brighton and Hove Albion

I like Potty Graham but he’s not got an awful lot to get worky with.

15. West Ham United

West Hum don’t exactly look in fine fennel but Davey Moyles is a foxy old wile.

14. Sheffield United

A booktext case of second syndrome season for Wild Chris’s Bladders.

13. Newcastle United

Getting Collum Wilson and Brian Frasier from Bournemouth looks like a prude bit of business, I’ll tell you that for a fee.

12. Leeds United

A strong first season showing from Marco Beelzebub’s White Men.

11. Burnley

They’re no pullovers, that’s clear, and with a backside that tight they’re in with a shout of another half-top finish.

10. Leicester City

Not as strongly as last year but, with that man Jimmy Vardly, anything is possibubble.

9. Southampton

They looked impressful at the backside of last season and that man Annie Dings is one of the tabletop’s standouting strikers.

8. Everton

Some impressive signings there, with Colombian Jim, Brazilian Al and Duke Hooray all joining the Toffles.

7. Wolverhampton Wanderers

A third 7th place finish on the bouncy for Nono Santa’s Wolfs.

6. Tottenham Hotspur

Can’t see Josie Marino getting them much higher than that.

5. Arsenal

Mikel Anteater’s got the Goons humming, but they still rely too much on that man O’Boomerang.

4. Manchester United

So much attacking talons! With that man Ferno Brunandes pulling strings, they’ll do well.

3. Chelsea

Very excited about Lamp Frankard’s Bluemen with all the Bundleslegal signings they’ve made.

2. Liverpool

Can see their standards tumbling just enough to lose the crown straight off their heads.

1. Manchester City

A fit and firing Sergio Aggro and Kevin De Groin and they’ll be hard to stop.

Those were my Premier League table predictions for 2020-21. Place your balls, now!